From Abandonment Wound and Dysfunctional Relating to a Complete Healing

Joanne's journey. 

(Real life case study - name changed)  

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Wounded State: 

Joanne's father was an alcoholic, he wasn't abusive in obvious ways however he frequently left her alone or in a state of emotional neglect as he'd sleep off the alcohol. She didn't have words for it at the time but this and other experiences as she grew up left her feeling like she needed to try harder for attention and be better so she could earn love. She felt deeply lonely, unworthy, and doubted her lovability. 

In her dysfunctional adult love relationships, Joanne sought out partners who would intermittently withhold love or provided excessive affection. She was trying, she was doing her best. However, these partners turned out to be emotionally imbalanced, sometimes verbally abusive and taking her for granted. However she kept coming back seeking to earn their love hoping things would change if only she did better they might change... 

Joanne's abandonment wounds intensified, leading to perfectionistic behaviour, seeking more validation, and fear of being alone. .

Healing and Transformation: 

Recognizing that something was not right, that this was not the life she wanted and being told by her friends that she needed to leave the patterns of abuse and do some inner healing....she investigated and found methods of healing and coaches, teachers and mentors. She discovers the impact of her childhood experiences, and begins the process to heal her abandonment and rejection wounds and address her self-doubt. 

Through these potent healing modalities she explores the effects of her father's alcoholism, learning how to feel what needs to be felt and release feelings of anger, sadness and unworthiness. She then learns how to cultivate deep self-compassion, self-love, starts seeing how these past experiences have actually gifted her with resilience, resourcefulness, imagination, hope and outside the box way of thinking. 

Joanne develops a deeper understanding of her own value and begins to challenge her patterns of seeking unbalanced affection and what type of man she truly wants to build a healthy love relationship with. . 

Transformed State: 

As Joanne heals her wounds, her transformation reflects in her behaviour and relationships:  

- She embraces her worthiness and prioritizes her own emotional well-being, starting to utilize healthy boundaries and more clarity in the communication of her needs and desires. 

- Joanne no longer settles for unbalanced affection but seeks partners who offer a healthy blend of love and independence in her dating journey.  

- This allows her to attract much higher calibre, healthier potential mates who are secure in their own attachment style too.  

- She develops the all-important ability to discern between genuine emotional availability vs aloofness vs excessive affection or clinginess. 

- She's now able to relate with a deep self-assuredness and security knowing that she is an amazing, beautiful, gifted, intuitive, kind, funny, loving, woman WHO IS ENOUGH! 

- During her dating journey, she experiences each person to be better than the last, honing her desires of mind, body and spiritual connection to a pinnacle she's never experienced before. 

- And she finally finds someone who is the Unicorn partner she's been dreaming of. It's all so delicious – conscious love with a conscious partner - she feels it in her body, the pure ENOUGHNESS.

- She no longer fears losing love because she knows it's generated from within, she knows the formula.  

- She now recognizes the difference between wounded and healed.

- She is now free to choose. 

This case study showcases the awe-inspiring journey of Joanne's profound transformation. With unwavering courage, a curiosity that never failed her, and commitment to her healing, she fearlessly delved into the depths of her wounds, shattering the grip of unworthiness that had held her hostage for far too long. As she embraced her truth, her voice, her innate value and reclaimed her power, a radiant magnetism started to emanate from within her, rippling outwards, drawing forth people and partners who mirrored her newfound self-love and emotional equilibrium.  

With her passion on fire, her heart exploding with delicious love frequency, she forged a life that transcended her wildest dreams—a tapestry woven with authenticity, vulnerability, and an emotional connection that resonated to the very depths of her soul.  

Who knew she could stand it this good. 

Joanne is me.  And she can be you too.

- Kimberly